::my sweet valentine::

i want ...

- my fingers to stop itching and mi giving in to the temptation; lest i get caught.
- anna sui secret wish perfume (dar's getting it for mi le! yeah.)
- clinique 3-step facial cleanser
- clinique compact powder
- MAC blusher
- amore membership
- dior wallet
- birkenstock (x2)
- la senza lingerie
- squeeze myself into size 6
- able to get into TP or SP's business course aft Os
- havannas frm NUM
- NUM jacket
- new mp3.
- money!
- an understanding bf who fulfills all my criteria (no hurry for dis lar. enjoying SINGLEhood to the max nw)

and the list goes on ...

wednesday
parkway wif dar. crapped arnd as usual. saw mr azahar wif his 3mth-old son.
mi, "eh ... so cute leh."
mr azahar, "of cuz lar. look like the father."
mi and dar, "dot dot dotz."

saw jiaxuan at my hse downstairs.


thursday
shuting dearest jio mi out for shopping. dat girl arhz, dunno wat to say abt her lar. msg-ed mi while i'm in lit class, asked if i'm going for lit. i'm like, alrdy in the midst of doing poetry lar and i tot she'll be late, as usual so i replied her lar. haiyo, end up she nvr come to class and we met aft sch to shop. shopping wif her is always fun! she has a great sense of fashion and is always trying out new styles. annnd practically every outfit looks great on her lar cuz she's uber thin, 165cm and 42 freaking kg. wah lan eh, she eats junk food and yet doesn't grow fat. the wonders of a high metabolism rate. haiz, i wan lehhhhh. she said that i cn try going jappie. i was like, cnnt lar. jap-style on mi will be damn er xin lar. she said that half the battle is alrdy won cuz i haf biggie animie-like eyes and my hair's the colour of a typical japster. anyhow, i'm still reluctant to change out of my tee-and-jeans comfy combo lar. anyway, she came to my hse nua aft dat lar. bitch-ed abt ppl, showed her sec sch yearbook and told her lotsa stuff. she was like, eeee, why ur sch got so many weird ppl one sia. haa. she's like a smoke machine sia. in like the 4 or 5hrs we were outside she went through more than half a pac of ciggies lar. crazy girl, she's been hooked on nicotine since she was like, 12. and doing all kinds of nonsense aft that. heng arhz, now she's clean alrdy. chao ah lian~


friday
skipped sch again.
lunched at dar's hse.
suntec aft that wif dar. nua-ed at the food court, sitting wif no xing xiang like nobody's business.
went for prac at 4.30pm. bugis village thereafter.
shuting dearest was damn sweet. she waited wif mi for daddy dearest w/out giving a hoot abt her bf. her bf also damn sweet lar. just book out frm camp den come bugis find her; surprised her. she's going to his hse ltr for slpover lar.
midnight bitching wif kiwi. thereupon he said that he was at bugis village the exact same time i was there. no fate lar, didn't bump into him there.


saturday
happy bday to cecilia!
friends for like, 10yrs alrdy.
sorry girl dat i'm not going for ur bbq ltr on
BUT i'm gonna lend u my heart for a day since u're such a great friend of mine.
my heart will be wif u for the entire day today worx. pls remember to return it back to mi at 12am! haa.
now raining leh, ur bbq how arhz? -i also dunno lehhh.

"... ... ...

Don't laugh shuz, I am looking at your bio data now when you were 11 too. Lets see, you have atrocious handwriting.


So corny can!?
Hahaha!
Said woman is hankering after make-up, more clothes and is always financially strapped.Both above mentioned women are personifications of Materialism.(but I mean it in a nice way)


And shuz, I can't believe you like Spice Girls."


what lar.
dun laugh leh ...
sx, u're so mean. nvr show mi some face sia. - and to think that i noe u since u were a teeny weeny baby.

like, hello. i was eleven lar. wait till i get my hands on the pretty autograph bks i had.
i'm sure there'll be at least 3 entries written by u.

and the Spice Girls were way hot back then lar. i esp like baby spice, emma bunton.



i think i need to find a rich bf to yang wo.
weird ppl adding mi in msn nowadays. ppl i barely/don't even noe. damn fark up. shan't elaborate anymore.

who's going for sci prac on 19th oct at st. anthony's?
tag mi or smthg den maybe we cn go together?

actually arhz, i'm ashamed to say that i'm once quite close to him. now i shun him like nobody's business.
ah beng wannabe "dancing" to the beats of techno. damn disgraceful lar.
it's not very clear lar, but u cn just abt make out his body "grooving" along ... kanna like his body chou jing liddat lar. kanasai.

ccb. diao mi for wat.
i got huan tio u meh? ruin my mood.

seriously having a bad hair day. hair's all tangled and dried. wtf. ytd it was all smooth and silky and today, it's totally unmangeable.

wei hao: eh, free on sunday?
mi: yea ... wat time?
wei hao: morning lar
mi: huh. morning? do wat sia?
wei hao: jio u go eat breakfast lar. that time say wan treat u a meal wat.
mi: chey ... morning eat wat? dim sum arhz?
wei hao: no lar. eat half-boiled eggs.
mi: and wat? kaya toast and teh-c arhz?
wei hao: yar lar. meet at 8.30am k?
mi: siao. u eat urself arhz, but dun forget to da pao for mi. hee.

xueli dar dar.
the one whom i rely on the most.


may, weiling ah bu, mi and shireen.
frm sec 1 to 4.


mi and bashar kor kor.
dee dee siao siao.
wat lar. i'm fat. so wat? but that was last yr lor.


shu ting dearest.
my shopping/bitching partner.


chris kor and joycelyn jie.


jenn, cecilia, weiyi.
the girls i grew up wif.


kiwi.
the tok cock king!


they're the ones who went through tough times with mi,
mi soaking their shirts wif my salty-tears when things ain't going well,
when i need someone to tok to, they'd always be there for mi.
through the night chats, endless sms-ing, meet ups just to chat ...
and of cuz, my source of motivation for the Os.

and once again,

christopher tan.
yandao meh? girls seem to think that he's good-looking leh.
i dun think so lor.
hmm ... maybe is cuz i've been seeing him for yrs alrdy so that prolly explains why he's just another guy to mi. nevertheless, he's still my precious kor! huggs.


ok, i seriously need to spend more time on my studies. it's the critical period.
ppl, pls like, bug mi to study whenever u see mi online.
i need to wake up NOW. can't afford to dilly dally any longer.

weird. seems like tons of ppl are asking for goodbye kisses and goodnight kisses frm mi nowadays. siao gila. think i'll anyhow liddat de meh. haa. but it's all in the name of fun lar.

bitch-ed again wif my bitching partner late last nite. haa. gossiping abt others has always been my forte. hee.

thursday
bluff-ed lit teacher that i'm not feeling well and cn i pls go back hme early. gave him my most ke lian and pathetic face and he relented. in the end, shopped arnd city hall area. i neeeed money!
back to topman once again. weihao said that i gained weight. farker. haf to deal wif their nonsense again. glenn asked for goodbye kiss, weihao told eric that i've been waiting for him for the past hr or so, and glenn asked when i'm getting married to weihao. like wtf lr. heng stinky not there arhz. if not haf to endure more crap frm them. it's always weihao, glenn and eric dee siao-ing mi. and somehow, eric seems surprised that mi and weihao still keep in touch regularly. in fact, i just recieved a sms frm him lar. why? ex-collague cnnt sms wif each other meh? crazy ass.
weihao so bad. audris came today (friday) and guess wat weihao said in his msg. "audris still maintain her ham leg". damn evil lar!

friday
skipped chinese class and met sylvie in town. waited 1/2hr+ for her. sigh. and while waiting, some talent scout approached mi and wan my hp no cuz they see potential in mi and wanna cast mi in photo shots or wat shit. and i blatanly rejected lar. dis is not the first time somebody talent scout-ed mi lar. can't u guys get it that i'll nvr fall for ur scam? argh.
and for the last time, i haven even hit my 18th bday yet lar. pls stop asking mi to sign credit cards, job offers and what shit. i just turned 17 a few mths ago k? tell mi, i'm NOT that chao lao rite?
sadded.

major turn-off.


food for thought: a study has found that people who washed their hands after thinking about unethical acts were less troubled.

my poor mei mei.
to hell wif Evita(sp?). fark u lar. my sis got huan tio u meh? ccb. u think ur mother kindergarden teacher den wat? dua ki arhz? cn anyhow push my sis resulting in the scratch on her face arhz? wat if it becomes a scar? den how? use ur skin to do grafting arhz?
just u wait.
i'll definately lodge a complaint wif the sch authorites. mother everytime call my hse to kpkb. siao zhao bor. sch dismiss at 6.40pm and she cn call my hse at 7pm to check hmewrk. come on lar, so gan jiong abt sch work for wat sia. ur kid is only in pri 3 lar, cut her some slack. everytime wanna complain abt teachers but dun dare go complain alone, must call and ask my mama to be ur supporter. u think my mama so free to entertain u arhz? call urself a teacher when u can't even hold ur child in hand. pui* kiss my ass lar.
si ginna. first impression when she came to my hse was alrdy veri jialat. step into my hse not more than 15mins and when my hme phone rang, she wanted to go ans the phone lar; wanted to snatch the phone reciever frm mi. knn. father mother nvr teach arhz? even my cousins dare not do that lar. go ppl's hse kanna no manners liddat, nvr greet ppl. pcb.
up till now, the most i'd ever done was just slapping my sis lar, other than that, i do not inflict any physical punishment on her. but u, farking twerp, dared to push my sis, resulting in a fall and a cut on her face. lucky got a gymnastics mat to break my sis' fall. if not, got any broken bones or wat, i'll go straight to MOE and haf u suspended frm sch.
bloody hell. if buay song wif my sis den say out lar, settle it in the way kids do, quarrel or smthg. but why do u haf to push her? i tell u, u lucky u're in pri sch nw. if u're in sec sch and u do dis, i tell u, die bitch die. u'll suffer a fate worse than hell. ppl's backup will surround u aft sch. damn it. wat is the world coming to?

The Newpaper on Sunday - 27 Sept 2006
Fat Chance for Skinny Models. Madrid Fashion Week bans underweight models, one-third fails to make the cut.


"Oragnisers of the show banned overly-thin models, with a body mass index (BMI) of less than 18, from taking part in the show."
"30% of models slated for the show were rejected."
"With the estimated BMI of Giselle, Kate and Elle standing at 18.2, 16.9 and 17 respectively, they would not have made the cut for the show."


"The association wanted to project an image of beauty and health, rather than a waif-like, or heroin-chic look."
"... to hire women who could be positive role models for girls obsessed with thin and prone to starving themselves."
"... the fashion industry had a responsibility to portray healthy body images."

so there!
girls, frm now on, no more starving, dieting, binging or doing watever shit that harms ur body. i noe we're almost always fighting a losing battle towards our ideal weight/body shape lar (trust mi, i've been there) but we gotta learn to love ourselves. only then will others love us more.

i'm struggling. struggling to accept mi for who i am. i'd love to be a size 6. a size 8 (sometimes 10), i'm constantly depriving myself of great food, hoping that i'd at least lose an inch or two. but that nvr happens. instead, i get hunger pangs dead at night annnd it's sheer agony sitting beside a friend who gobbles down anything but nvr put on an ounce. so i haf a BMI of arnd 20 which is considered healthy but why am i so obsessed wif my weight. blame it on the media and my insecurities. all those hype of stick-thin models, the perfect body and whatnot. whenever i get hungry, i drink lotsa and lotsa water instead of eating. and i cut down drastically on carbohydrates, replacing it wif proteins. intial weight loss = water loss. so no use getting overjoyed abt it. i wanna be slimmer but NOT skin-and-bones. just u noe, maybe lose like 5kg? whatever lar.

from nw on, i vow to learn to cherish myself. sure, i'll watch my weight. but not to the extent of starving myself.


things i love abt myself:
- my dimples!
- long eyelashes
- big eyes
- my fingers (so cute leh. cuz they very small mah ...)

things which cn be improved:
- tone and shape up my butt (think beyonce, j lo.)
my bum bum quite kiao lar, which is supposed to be a gd thing lar.
- lips (jolin tsai, angelina jolie ...)
they're said to be one of my best assests lar cuz i cn do a full pout wif my thick lips. but i find them so ... argh.
- i need to do crunches or go for a tummy tuck.
- shape my leg.
it's like a pair of fats lar.
- say bye bye to cellulite.
- wax!


i noe of some guys who do not really favour stick-thin girls, they like girls wif more flesh; but not to the extent of being a lump of fats lar.

daddy's bday ovr alrdy. celebrated his bday like, 3hrs ago?
today, or rather, ytd (16th sept) was also LKY's bday.
happy bday, lao Lee and papa.
i've always been daddy's girl.

damn fark up lar. had maths extra lesson today and i was the only one there. had one-to-one lesson wif the teacher. and he even offered mi a ride back aft that which i declined.

i'm hungry hungry hungry. ate only a hash brown and OCK nuggets today. plus passion fruit milk tea.
no, don't think abt food k? think abt being a size 6.

caught The Banquet today. bloody gruesome. all blood and gory. it's an adaptation of Hamlet.

bloody hell, wasted money again. 2 movies in a wk.


rainy day. my ideal day for a lie-in in bed but pity, gotta get my ass up for school but in the end, slacked at macs lar. went to fetch dar frm sch wif my fake burberry umbrella. strolling, ambling in the rain. knn, the leg of my jeans totally wet lor.
dar's family so cute. went to her hse to nua on wednesday and today but didn't went there on thursday. her dad was like, "shuhui nvr come arhz?" on thurs. lolx. her parents so cute lar, always ask why i nvr go her hse. dat time more interesting, went out wif her mama, aunt, aunt's kid and her grandmama. ji tao is one big family liddat go out together lar. i think hor, dar's hse is like my 2nd hme. i spend sooo much time there each wk. today even go her hse eat durian.

and i hate those ppl who ask mi to do survey on the streets. damn dulan wif dis guy today lar. i was walking hurriedly to the mrt station lar and he just had to stand in front of mi, block my way and asked mi repeatedly to fill out the survey thingy. said that his boss will gan him if it's not completed; like i care if ur boss reprimand u lar. none of my business wat. pcb. si kaypoh. when i said politely dat i'm pressed for time, going to sch and hence can't help him wif the survey, he kept asking qns lar. ask where i'm studying. i replied wif gritted teeth that it's at bugis. he asked again, "wat time?". dis time, i glared at him and mumbled - actually i spoke quite loudly lar, abt ppl wif no basic manners and being irritating freaks plus a whole lot of kpkb-s and ccb-s. totally spoil my day lar. fark up piece of shit. argh.

it's pathetic. i think i've a deprived childhood or smthg.
guess wat i'm reading nowadays.


come on, guess lar.




i just finished Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
Starting on Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator soon.

Meanwhile, i'm reading Charlotte's Web.


actually hor, it's quite fun to re-read these kinda classics lar. oh yar, i did Toto Chan in like, June? truth is, although i scored an A for English Os, i still like reading children's books, preferbly those by Eric Carle. i like books wif big and colourful pictures cuz they make mi happy and childlike. i've always enjoyed reading books since i was a very very young girl lar. i read everywhere i go, on transport, while waiting for the lift, even walking(!). but that was then lar, i'm no longer such an avid reader. i read lar, but not everywhere i go. ppl chit-chat or slp in class but i'm different; i read. sure, i got slp in class lar(i'm nt called sleeping queen for nthg) but while others thumb through magazines at most, i'll savour bk aft bk. and, i read only fiction and i favour romance novels, u noe those wif predictable plots and everybody are so lovey dovey. yar, call mi sick, but i like them. why? cnnt meh? everybody entitled to their own preferences wat.

anymore kiddy books to recommend mi?



IMF = international mother farkers, according to weihao anyway.

had the company of ah meng to sch today and as usual, bitching all the way wif dearest shu ting. can't wait to see dar tmr! girl arhz, sick for so many days le, u really must go see doc liao lar. n levels period leh, dun play play hor. huggs.

watched the devil wears/eats prata just nw wif brendon n sylvie. meryl streep aka miranda priesting is a super demanding workaholic lar. damn. if i'm working under her, cfrm dai chop plus stamp quit within a wk de. a must-watch for the shopaholic girls out there. wat wif the couture brands; valentino, prada, chanel, clinque make-up ...

towning wif sylvie aft that. topshop, and i spent money again lar. wth, dis mth alrdy ovr budget le lor. wheelock place to look at birks, wisma for topshop and cine aft that. saw the still-super-duper-tall jia xuan wif dong hao.

damn suay. saw that bitch at bedok inter wif her CMI bf. their dressing is like, so yucks lar. buay tahan. fat like hell still wear skin-tight denim. bu yao lian. eeee.





Gus in NS now, confinement till 22sept. didn't even noe that he's in camp for 4 days alrdy till he called mi ytd lar. kept suan-ing him. haa. still remembered that he said "not to tk ah beng cert like him".

Someone once said that ...
1. I dun look veri approachable; guys who wanna tok to mi haf to think twice cuz I look like I haf an ah beng bf who’ll bash anyone who so much as glance at mi.
2. Imma personification for materialism.
3. I look ah lian-ish
4. I dun look/act my age
I look older than I am but behave like a little kid.
5. Imma chao bimbo, chao ah lian, spoilt brat ...

and ... all are nonsense lar! none of it is true alright?

somehow, it seems like i'm getting to noe quite a few no of ppl nowadays. a very big diff frm the days when i can't hold a convo wif a stranger w/out feeling uneasy. still an introvert, but perhaps trying to be more outspoken.

i love marathon chats thru the night. was on the phone wif kiwi till 4 freaking am last nite. it's been ages since i last saw him lar, like few wks? yeah ... update him abit lar and as usual, gossip!




i need help in POA!
die lar. i noe absolutely nthg abt the subj. can't even balance everything.

anna sui - secret wish.

i wan dis lehhhh.

anyway, bumped into my classmate who's been MIA for several mths alrdy. guess the reason she's not been going to sch - that zha bor owns a shop at icon; bugis point and she's not been going to sch cuz she needs to work. get dis, she's only 17 and she source for her goods frm HK. 17yrs old gal going to HK on her own every now and then, haggling wif the suppliers ovr prices in cantonese or watever and manning her own shop. she cn even afford to hire a part-timer on top of paying 1.5k monthly for rental monthly. so pei fu her leh. owning her own business at such a young age, she must haf gone through lotsa obstacles lar. ppl will certainly be skeptical of her for one thing and she must haf to put up wif lotsa objections frm family and all.

and she's also tking her o levels dis yr.

let's see, i spent $40+$7.70+$36.75+$13.90+$21 in like, 2 days. cosmetics, pak pool, hair cut, exp manicure and bag respectively. not including the amt i spent on food though it's not alot lar cuz i didn't really eat much ytd and today.



chio hor? bargained dis to $21 cuz of some slight defects. i love the green material lar; it's a terry-cloth kinda material. shoped wif shu ting just nw. we were oh-ing and ah-ing ovr clothes, shoes and bags. actually i was just supposed to go shopping wif her but in the end i bought the juicy couture bag lar. crapped wif her like nvr before. when i first saw her, i was thinking, another chao ah lian. knn. cuz she was smoking mah. and she said her first impression of mi's that imma ah lian(!) cuz i looked dao, the way i presented myself, haircolour blah blah. i was like, wtf lar. i got so jialat de meh? so, it's like ah lians attracted to one another lar, if u get wat i mean though we didn't tok to each other till like mths ltr. it's like, buay tahan lar. we were yakking non-stop for 2 freaking hrs. bitching abt ppl's dressing, chatting abt our past, our parents and family and of cuz the things in bugis lar. best thing is, she stays so god-damn near to mi lar so we can meet ever so frequently. haiya, nw regret dao siao that i wasn't more sociable; if not cn be greater friends liao. but it's ok, we planned to mug for the big Os together and aft that go chiong or wat. no chiong-ing nw cuz it's the cruacial period for us and we've to do well. if not, maybe we go enrol in pte dip together nxt yr lor.

today so shuang. took same bus as ah meng to sch and we crapped arnd as usual and on the way hme, i had the company of shu ting!

editted--
ponned class today and went to dar's hse early in the morning. went for manicure afterwards and also hair cut. we did wat we noe best; bitch abt others. didn't really see any yandaos, sobz. but we did saw many xiao lians and bengs. argh, when will they ever grow up sia? childish freaks. didn't see jx at chapter 2, haiz. the last 2 times i went there for my hair cut i didn't see him too. dar said that he was eating KFC at the back leh and i didn't see him. freak lar, stupid pig.
yeah, i'm so looking forward to colouring my hair wif dar aft Os. haa. and we're prolly gonna bitch throughout our hair cuts and colouring process.

saw Nic of MLB at citylink wif a long-haired lass.

i'm such a bad mei mei. chris kor's lion dance competition at taka today and i didn't go support him, didn't even sms him. instead, i was slacking away at esplanade. baddie mei mei. and to think that kor dotes on mi the most among all his meis. such gratitude i'm showing uh? go ji heng!!!

[sx] my tagboard's screwed up lar. typed "bitch" and it came out as *****.

college party at club momo on 7th sept[thurs]

legal and underage party
both alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks available - alcoholic tags cn be provided upon request for those under 18.
tix at 18bucks only; quick tag mi or smthg to get urs.
limited no of tix worx.

pubbing last nite
sobz, no cam-whoring partner; the guys were not really enthu abt tking pics lar. that's the problem wif guys, dunno why they dun like to tk pics and when on the rare ocassion that they are persuaded to haf their pics taken, u seldom see them smile. sad life arhz~

I feel so helpless all of a sudden
Can’t even control my own emotions.
Thoughts running wild
Your every move, your every word
Are etched deeply in my mind.
Euphoria, when we were together
But now they’re down to nothing but memories.

I was hesitant to approach you the other day,
Don’t even have the guts to say “hi”.
Such a cowardly fool I am
Am only able to watch you from afar,
Wishing with all my heart that you’d at least acknowledge my existent
And yet feeling somewhat relieve that we don’t have to make awkward conversation

Reconciliation is unheard of in my dictionary
No way am I going to put myself through this again
I’m gonna be a happy girl
With or without you.

No worries,

I ain’t so stupid as to think of ending all just for you.

Don’t think so highly of yourself,

You’re not so worthy.

editted--

thursday
it's back to sec sch! saw and hugged ppl like crazy. cherry was there too, wif his other friends. dunno why i kept avoiding him, to the extent that i'd rather walk one big round than face him. 离人节 and 开场白 kept replaying in my mind. chris kor's damn adorable as usual. keep dee siao-ing mi when i'm least expecting it. k box-ing wif my precious 3 aft sch. planned to go pak pool too but scraped the idea aft that lar. great fun wif them lar, took a hell lot of pics and camwhoring wif shireen dearest. dinner at swensen's and we bitched as usual lar. wat do i do best? bitch abt others lar!


friday
suppossed to go town-ing wif dar aft my class. but in the end, i skipped class and went her hse to like, nua lar. slack for like half a day and went to bugis wif her mama and everybody else. xiang bing hao ke ai worx! dar's aunt bought a pair of earrings for mi! ok, was queueing up for bubble tea and i didn't realise that WQ's aunt was like just right in front of mi till she spoke to mi. i ji tou chua tio lar. chatted abit lar.
dar's having n levels on monday. gd luck babe, u'll do well for sure!

maybe pubbing wif the guys ltr. dunno, haven cfrm yet.
and i need new clothes!!!