::my sweet valentine::

last wk of hols. damn. have not had enough fun and have not met up wif all my friends.

mon was spent wif rainbow. went to view some greek mythology sculptors (have to inculcate some appreciation for the arts in him) and he MADE mi watch deathnote wif him.
first thing when i first saw him, and as usual, i was late,
“eh wassup wif ur hair?
Omg. We are wearing the same colour!
Ur face clear liao hor? Izzit the magic of Clinique, it must be right?”
was blabbering non-stop.

then he shoot mi back, “why can’t you have side partings like normal girls”. replied, "cuz i'm not a normal girl!" haa. he was dumbfounded for a sec and then said, "everytime see u ur hair look different". and at a point, he even said i look like bugis st ah lian. wtf?!! aye. shall forgive bling bling boy cuz he skipped breaking to go out wif mi. asked him if i shld be so touched that tears will stream down my cheeks. he couldn't be bothered to ans mi.


tues spent time wif dar. then ben came ovr and drove us.
wed nua-ed at hme.


thurs met shuting early in the morning and went back estee lauder hq to return uniform aft procrastinating for so long. lunched, talked loads and went for ftt while shuting went to register for theory. surprise surprise, i passed! haa. was totally unexpected cuz i only flipped through the bk the day before and i wasn't really prepared for it. clicked "end test" and when "passed" appeared on the screen, it felt toally surreal, sat there for a long time before it finally dawned on mi that i passed. haa. tp on 30th may. wish mi luck!

meeting shuting again ltr. simply too much stuff to tell her. meeting her in another wk i guess?










everybody's telling mi, just go for it. but smthg;s holding mi back ...

ok, completely random post.

was flipping through magazines of yesteryears and i saw this frm one of the street polls conducted: what's the most impt lesson u've learnt abt girls in the past yr.
"never ever break a girl's heart ... they should always be cherished!"
vs
"i've learned we shouldn't pamper girls too much, otherwise they'll start taking it for granted".

the latter will NOT get a gf ok.
how cn u expect to survive when u're quoted saying that wif ur face, name and age plastered on the pg of a national magazine.

and the classic: "we shouldn't treat them too well - otherwise, we might end up becoming their best friend instead."
haa. look at kiwi and rainbow. my best guy friends. treat mi very well meh? always tio suan-ed.
recalled a phone convo rainbow had wif mark (mark as in his breaking friend, not jt k);
mark, "aren’t you gonna be a gentleman and send her hme?"
rainbow, "dun need lar. She’s not a lady, she’s tougher than guys lor".
so wtf rite?


it's cuzzie's twentieth bday. happy bday! do tk care, going to thailand for a mth for training uh. it's so weird that cuzzie was kinda reluctant to be part of the commando team/unit/whatever and kiwi's totally yearning to be part of it and cuz of dunno wat reason though he got a gold in napha, he has yet to recieve the commando sch letter and he's totally demoralised. oh well.





wat's worse than a fashion faux pas? pronnouncing, no, make that yelling the designer's name wrongly and still thinking that u're in the right, that's wat.
say,
agnes b. peeps out there LOVE to pronnounce it literally as agnes b. fyi, it's a-neh-yehs beh.
and,
it's not lou-is vurton. ppl, it's loo-ee vwee-tong k?



"I thought the skill is more important.
You want to cut hair or finding girlfriend?"

HAHAHA.

bye bye clinique.
it's wif great reluctance that i've finally made the decision to leave my stint wif clinique. coming thurs i'll be heading down estee lauder's hq to return the uniform. worked for abt 5 companies (?), small boutiques, bigger corporations, clinique has been the one i really enjoyed working in, topping topman. clinique, cuz of my interest in cosmetology and topman, cuz of the fun ppl there who made working seems like play. it's like, i get paid for having fun.
ftt on thurs too. cross fingers cross toes that i'll pass the first time round cuz i seriously dun have time to wait for the 2nd test as i'm finishing my pracs way before expectation and there's less than 10 lessons left and i'm ready for tp.

day out wif rainbow ytd and it was fun! need to mould him into someone with a penchant for the arts.
going ovr to dar's place. lotsa catching up to do and damn, sch's commencing next wk. i've had not enough time to meet all my lovely peeps.

prices are rising rapidly. first it was fuel, then cab, flour, sugar, and now, toufu? wtf?
dun think it's infaltion any longer, it shld qualify for hyperinflation now rite?

everything also increase price, except for my allowance. damn.






3 more wks. yeah. i can do it de.

had a real bad dream the other night. pls let it not be a bad omen or anything. i noe i can't be so indecisive forever but i'm afraid to plunge and tk the first step.

Someone to have and hold
with all my heart and soul
I need to know before I fall in love
Someone who'll stay around
through all my ups and downs
Please tell me now before I fall in love
It's been so hard for me
to give my heart away
but I'd give my everything





dinner wif poo, se, eddie, and oh, lots more. was such a fun catch-up session and we talked and talked and talked ovr kaya bread, laksa and mee rebus. we have to do this more often yea. was entertained wif poo's life at the dreaded four letters A-word, and also jj's encounter wif tau pok. it's been ages since we last sat down and laughed so much while recounting the days of yesteryears. think i've not laughed so much in such a short span of time.
my social circle is shrinking at such an alraming rate that i seriously can't keep track of which of my friends are still ahem, so called civilians. it's very much inevitable that ns talk will infiltrate into our conversations and more often than not, it tends to dominate the conversations we're having. wat wif gurad duties, confinements, field camps, sergeants, camp food and oh wat have you.
yea man. faster go in, ord and come back and be my friend once again. dun let there be a case of u forgetting my existence once ur hair grows back!

ok. they said i shld grow out my hair instead of trimming it back short so i'm just gonna let my hair grow ...

finished the last of my famous amos cookies and i still have not had enough. damn. only left wif the crumbs.
ftt next thurs. wish mi luck. and i think i've found the culprit to the horrendous skin i've been having.
had a real fun day shopping wif dar the other day. she bought a purse for mi! ai ni lar. we shld make a point to meet up more often yea? lotsa stuff to catch up on.


pink or white w580i?
damn. hate making decisions. and no, not gonna settle for second best again.

logged in to facebook aft like, 2mths and saw these which i tot are quite meaningful.

to my girls:

Life only comes around once, make sure u spend it with the right person ....
Find a guy ... who calls you beautiful instead of hot. who calls you back when you hang up on him. who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who ... kisses your forehead. Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. Who holds your hand in front of his friends. Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Who turns to his friends and says, "That's her!!!"


There comes a point in ur life when u realize who matters, who nvr did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So dun worry abt ppl frm ur past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to ur future.

and i thank u all for being there for mi; the good, the bad and the ugly. the fun moments, the times when i was hysterical, madness, laughters, the unglam scenerios.
thanks for not judging mi, for not giving up on mi, for not leaving mi in the lurch, for being just a phone call away, for always being on my side - dissing whoever suay enough to cross my path, the patience and words of geniune concern, of the tiny little things which might not even have registered in ur minds. thanks for everything, esp the past few mths which have been so tulmutuous.

i hardly venture out when the sun's shining bright and when i did, stupid east coast park's undergoing some shitty construction. every other corner i turn, there will be some drilling and whatnots and a filmsy piece of orange plastic will separate the track frm the pithole or whatever it is. damn. almost landed myself into the shithole when i couldn't stop blading in time.

yeah! meeting xue li tmr!

I don't wanna wait another minute
put me out of my misery
i can read your mind
baby you're not in it
we're not where we used to be
no you wouldn't have to lie to me
if you would only let me go
and i don't wanna wait another minute
to hear something that i already know

So save your voice
don't waste your breath
can't you see we're at the end
this goodbye babe it's permanent
so wish me well, try to forget


i'm sorry things have to end like this but really, u left mi wif no other choices. can't take it anymore. the mind games and verbal abuses, enough is enough. to cut off all contacts and make a clean break. to let mi live again on a clean slate. for myself and the ppl who really and truly care to be happy.

spent v day wif my favourite ppl.
and pls scrap the misconception off that v day shld only be spent wif gf/bf as v day shld also be spent wif ur other loved ones.


met up wif ck and weegers first at msq for "juno". been watching tons of movies lately, so unlike mi as i seldom go to the cinemas cuz i've got super short attention span and can't concentrate for long and will start fidgeting aft a short while.

gluttons' bay for dinner!


take 1


take 2


take 3
attempt failed!


presenting: jenn dearest's melt-in-the-mouth

i think we're so close that we are sorta in tune to each others' thoughts? w/out planning, each of us bought smthg for everybody.




at max brenner's for choco fondue



strawberry yoghurt white choco (or smthg like that), wif a dollap of cheapo ice-cream.
i decided that i just had to be childish and stick two fingers up.


one, two, three. everybody say awwwww.
ck's mama told him not to give flowers to girls he's not interested in in case he gave the wrong idea. we were like, come on lar, super unlikely that this scenerio will happen lar.


margarita baby.




yummy yum yum cake by ck.
all hail the future baker.
next time i cn hao lian when he's rich and famous and say, hey this guy is my pri sch friend.
when i get married, help mi bake my wedding cake k?


and the cam-whoring starts








and from this,


to this,


reached hme and the rose was like, petal-less lar.
there's only like, the stamen and pistil left, if memory serves mi right.
wo deng dao hua er ye xia liao





I believe that, everyday should be v day. V day should not just fall on feb 14 and with the whole world arm ovr arms ovr a meer 24hrs. V day is so so commercialized; it’s just part of some marketing gimmick whereby companies are vying and competing with each other over who gets the most profits, the largest cash flows. Over whose ideas are the most unique, creative, outstanding and appeal to the masses.
And no, it’s not sour grapes k? not cuz I’m jealous ovr some girls carrying oversized teddy bears walking abt town, looking like they’re gonna trip ovr. And wat’s wif the comparison of who gets the bigger bouqet of flowers, of how much ur other half is willing and able to spend on u on this day, of where u went for dinner. Whatever happened to good old wholesome fun?




I’m scared, vulnerable, self-conscious, naïve, ignorant, hard to please, troublesome, and more.
Because when I decide to commit, I’ll give my all and I expect the other party to do just that too. No, I’m not possessive, just wanting to let everything be worth it and even if things do end, it wouldn’t end on a sour note. I will want to treasure each and every moment spent together and not waste time on senseless things like quarrels and fights. I do have my moments too, times when I sulk and just need someone to cajole me and make me smile. I’m so used to being pampered, doted on and indulged in, I’m the classic example, the perfect personification of a daddy’s girl and I so cnnt imagine the unfathomable, what if, my spouse doesn’t measure up to daddy dearest? What am I to do? I can’t just be left in the lurch, right? I’m so used to being driven around, so used to my needs being seen and catered to, so used to living a life of comfort and luxury, of not worrying about anything and just having to have fun.

But daddy’s expectations of his future son-in-law is effing scary. It’s so omg-ing-ly unattainable and I do not wanna disappoint daddy yet again but, how?

I want to be with someone who’s intellectual, a best friend to me, make me happy, is charismatic. Someone who doesn't mind watching plays/musicals wif mi, who's able to be a gd friend to my best friends, who won't complain of my excessive spending habits and say that i'm high-maintenance, who sticks up for mi, who will be there for mi through the ups and downs. Someone who will always be supportive of my decisions, who won’t mind my bad hair days and stinky morning breath, who won't snatch the blanket frm mi when slping, of my sometimes unreasonable attitudes and mood swings, of my endless rants and whines and nonsensical mutterings, of my tendency to explode into fits of laughter ovr a small and seemingly minute matter, of my blur sotong nature, of my millions shortcomings, of how i’m just unable to cope wif housework and am even unable to keep a rm tidy for 3days.

I dun wan it to be all pretense and everything just go wrong at the end of the day.
I still wanna be a princess when I grow up. Dun wanna worry abt bills, mortgages et cetra. Hubby must be able to fend for mi and I do wan the option of choosing whether to work or just be a stay-at-home mum. I so do not wanna go work just cuz I have to. Once, I wanted my kids to have a Montessori education but now I’ll just settle for enrolling them to a normal preschool but, it’s a must for them to go for dance, drama, etiquette, deportment, arts appreciation, swimming classes. I’ll definitely have a real pretty girl and I cn dress her up!

Aiya. Hope all these won’t just be wishful thinking on my part lar. Hopefully, a large part will come true.

hp drowned in chrysanthemum tea.
anyone got lobang for the pink sony ericsson hp, or any other chio hp for that matter.
new no is gonna be activated on mon. pm mi if u somehow did not recieve my new no and if u dun recieve any reply, well, u noe that u really and truly are off my "friends list".

early morning saw this little birdie perching on my window grills.


so pretty hor? decked out in an array of colours, ok, not array of colours as there's only 2 colours but zhen de shi hao mei worx!

then it hopped (wat is the word to describe movement of a bird?) ovr to the dining area.







i'll be immensely happy if i'm able to translate half of this



to

lunched at hme den went ovr dar's place.
was hungry again at 2.
met up wif kiwi! and dar went to meet her hubby.

yeah! finally met up wif my bestest best guy friend le!
had to feed his ego by allowing him to treat mi to makan and movie.
"come to think of it, i've only been to the cinema wif guys recently"
"HAHAHA. today u got the honour to go watch a movie wif a girl" *points to myself*
"sad to say, i dun classify u as a girl"
argh. zomg. wtf. i dunno wat to say.



full of crap as usual.
had some food before movie started and was hungry again at abt 7?
and he said my fuel consumption very high, 2400 cc.
ass lar. cn drive liao dun wanna drive mi arnd still compare mi to a stupid vehicle.
i'm still waiting for u to come down frm bt panjang and drive mi to siglap hor.

was la kopi-ing and we talked and talked and talked.
2mths worth of conversations squeezed into a few hrs and it's still insufficient.
and he said that i must have drank lotsa Evian when i was younger cuz i'm naive (read Evian backwards).

$10.50 worth of cookies!

knew kiwi for abt 3yrs(?) alrdy and this is the first time catching a movie wif him. he said must go laminate the subs worx. wth rite?

heels lovely! another pair added to my "collection". this time, a red one.
saw ex-classmates. wonder wat other rumours they're gonna fabricate this time round. but i seriously dun gif a damn.
and bling bling boy/rainbow's super li hai. we exchanged 3 smses between the span of 7hrs.















u think waiting at my hse's bus stop gonna do u any gd?
firstly, dun make any assumptions that i'll feel obliged to meet u just cuz u're in the vicnity.
secondly, i wasn't even at hme.
so there.

red tide + that msg + that phone call + that convo wif parents = zOMG super unbearable










break le then break le lar, tell mi for wat.
like hell i wanna noe.
"i just need someone to talk to. u noe u make a very gd friend, i dun wanna lose u".
go chat up girls lar, that's wat u excel in wat.
call and disrupt my slp for fark.
can u make mi happy?
no right?
then just farking leave mi alone will u.

didn't noe till i opened one of the last few ang paos that there are still ppl giving $2.
applause applause applause.
tot that the lowest would be $4.






hp's like, silent.
so not used to it.

cny's pretty alright this yr; actually, it's been the same yr aft yr.

day 1 had reunion dinner at night at the chinese restaurant at roxy sq. service was excellent, food was great too!

relatives came ovr on day 2. took a breather in the aftnn and caught "kungfu dunk" wif eddy and i must say that it's way out of expectation cuz frm the publicity ads, i tot the movie will be quite boring and only watched it as it's the only one wif available slots. it's super hilarious lar! had ice cream wif waffles aft the movie and went off for 3rd reunion dinner in the evening.

3rd day of cny (today) grandad's bro came ovr for lunch and daddy had his sec sch friends ovr frm 2pm. and till now 8.27pm, they're still at my hse. argh. it's a yearly affair and i dun like it that much but it's not up to mi ...
dar came ovr to bai nian too and together wif mei mei, we cam-whored.








we shld have done the jiao bei jiu pose!




and together wif some props ...




my pretty pretty dar!

went ovr to her granny's aft awhile to bai nian and got to noe more of her relatives. been ages since we last went out properly and i do miss the times when i'll just be hanging out at her hse doing nthg in particular. sometimes to chitchat, watching dvds aft dvds or just da bao food up to eat.

eddy's gone fishing for the next few wks. tk loadsa care, not feeling well these few days uh.

i think mama thrives on finding faults wif mi.
first she said the dress i bought which was meant to be worn for CNY is very ugly and yada yada and she persuaded mi to go buy another dress on mon. and on mon, she found things to comment again. said it's too short and lowcut (wtf?).


anyway, i ushered in the new yr wearing a red dress and i think it's a first for mi to be wearing a red article for cny.

was talking wif shuting the other day and the topic inevitably turned to guys and their nonsense and it's scary how she resembles traits akin to that of a feminist. "i told rainer that i wanna show men that they're nthg more than sperm providers and anyway studies have shown that it's scientifically proven that it's not impossible to clone sperms so one day we cn do w/out them." and she did this flicking action, said that men are like THIS, THIS being optional in life and we cn just flick them off as and when we like. and the most omg thing was, she told the above to rainer and rainer's her bf. cn u imagine how black rainer's face was.

aye. just told her that she's prolly the more domineering one, maybe more power hungry and that she's gonna be a superb career woman. likened her to cleopatra, and no, not in the sense that she bathes in honey and milk or the straight black hair wif bangs. when i think of cleopatra, the image of this wonder woman comes to my mind. my mind conjure up this image of a very pretty (maybe seductive?) and successful woman who knows what she wans and work hard towards attaining the goal, no matter wat it takes, whether the methods used are ethical or not, if the parties involved will be hurt or not ... i mean, look at cleopatra. to gain power of egypt, she married her younger bro (incest!), aft that had a child wif julius ceaser and then three wif mark anthony, the latter who is supposed to be buddies wif julius ceaser. look how men give in to temptation and betray their so-called brothers. and this is still quite apparent in today's society. and no, dun blame the raging hormones or wat, blame ur will-power and it all boils down to how u percieve ur friendship, if satisfying ur own needs are more impt than the bond and ties u shared wif someone whom u'd gone through lots wif. "one for all, all for one"? whatever the 3 musketeers said are of no importance although they are so often repeated uh?

yar, anyway, i'm like so fascianted by the stories of cleopatra lar. too bad so sad that i'm unable to watch the film cuz it was produced many many yrs ago.





i think my rm's very very neat and tidy now, but can't say spick and span lar. was challenged to keep my rm in this state for a wk. i can't gurantee but i'll try my very best okokok. aiya, i noe it's not very neat lar, but it's the best i cn do. all my life, i've always veered towards the more messy and cluttered side.


anyway, in this corner, i place all the bags and stuff which can't be squeezed in the cupboards. stuff like my clinique uniform, laptop bag, 2 cartons of used textbk frm yesteryears, some bags and other knickknacks.


was out wif girlfriends and ck the other day. was town, chinatown and clake quay.


told ck to "make urself useful".


"i hate u! u go away lar!"
bth. how cn u keep asking mi to "diam lar"?!!


and it was chinatown loving.
jay world tour's disc out alrdy. i wan!!!
saw a couple of cute tops there, but the crowd was like, argh. totally no mood to really shop.
and i dun wanna torment ck further cuz he was tortured earlier in the aftnn when i was shopping for my dress.
and and and, he got mi this spiderman thingy near paragon. u noe, the figure which cn "climb" down the wall and orchard's infested wif these vendors.






and it's some reminiscing at the heritage museum there.


yo. check out the old sch, geniune VINTAGE stuff yo.
the dim sum is making mi, oh-so-hungry.









happy CNY ppl.
keep ur ang paos safe wif u.
huat arhz!

am like, so omg-bored-outta-my-mind now.
cleaned both my bedside tables, am left wif ultra messy study table, tons of clothes hanging behind the door, trillions of rubbish overflowing my bags on the floor and the mountain of magazines at the far far end of my rm.
so much stuff to be done but i simply can't be bothered and am too lazy to do them. call mi the queen of procrastination if it pleases u.

so being ever so bo liao, i took some pics of my ever-growing stash/loot/stock/collection/whatever-you-call-it of beauty/skin-care/cosmetics products.



nail polish!
and now u're wondering how many nails i've uh?




the skincare; my greatest investment.
includes clinique's basic 3 step, sunscreen, serum/essences, clarins' moisturizer and pore minimising essence, 3 diff brands pimple gel and more.
wah lao. think my face is worth at least 1k lor, shld get it insured.


heaps of lipglosses/lipsticks/lipbalms and eyeliners.
maybe imma monster wif half a dozen lips? i dunno.

it's scary to even estimate how much i'd spent - and this is aft i've thrown quite a few away.
say, nail polish abt 5 bucks each
lip products at 25
skincare + make-up each capped at arnd 50
it's OMFG alot alot lar (and i dun use all everyday. prolly only use the 3 steps and sunscreen daily).


and and and,


the unused cosmetics





and the masques and all sorts of unopened products i.e. hairdyes, samples, skincare.

so i guess it's of no surprise that my sis noes that one's face shld not be washed more than twice a day, to use a cream/moisturizer when skin feels dry, to ask for lipgloss whenever she has a stage performance. it runs in the family. i got started on the basic 3-step when i was in sec 1/2, and i'm thinking of letting sis try facial cleanser first next yr. see how it goes lar cuz i noe how impt it is to an individual's self esteem when faced wif problematic skin. when i had super jialat skin, i was sooo traumatized. serious.

the products i buy always can't be used by their "expiry dates".
the lifespan i imposed on the products:
masacara - 3, 4mths
eyeshadow/liner - max 12mths
lip products - max 15mths
liquid foundation - 12mths
loose powder/blush/compact powder/2-way foundation - 15mths at most



shld do smthg to curb my spendings.
shit.
spent sooo much on all these and also, food. that's why always broke and always overdraft lar.
and rainbow used to tease mi as "credit-side 400". wth lar hor.